From the Journal of NerdStud
by scribeninja
Summary: Entries from the journal of NerdStud, my Eric from the story Studybuddies. AH. OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Thanks to the amazing **makesmyheadspin**, this idea planted itself firmly in my brain. What we have here are bits from the journal of NerdStud, the amazing Eric from my story Studybuddies. I've gone back to the beginning of the story, so this is when NerdStud was still just a NerdVirgin.

I'll be posting everything for this unbeta'd because it's just something fun I want to do from time to time, so please excuse any errors.

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This journal belongs to:

Eric Northman

_Just after the start of the fall semester…_

I finally have something to look forward to every day. There was a girl in the library, one that's different from the rest. She's quite beautiful. Probably what one would describe as an All-American kind of girl. Blonde, blue-eyed, curvy in the places that should be, and hopefully (because I haven't seen it) has a smile that lights up a room.

She's been in the library every day for a week, and she sits in the same seat, so I'm pretty sure it's habitual. I don't know if she's noticed me yet, but even if she never does I will continue to admire her. Not in a creepy way. Just in the I-have-a-crush kind of way. I wish I knew her name.

I still haven't made any friends here. Living in the dorms may have helped, but I wouldn't have been able to tolerate it. It's not a big deal, I suppose. I'm used to being alone.

_One Week Later…_

She smuggles a soda into the library. I saw her sneak a few drinks of it today. It's Sunkist. I feel like she and I share some sort of a connection through our mutual sneaking of food and drink into the library. I'm food, she's drink. She also bites the end of her pen when she concentrates. Still haven't seen her smile yet.

In other news, my professor told me that I lack the life experience to put real emotion into my writing. She suggested that I go out and volunteer places or just generally socialize with my peers. I don't see why she thinks it would be a good idea to spend time with those people. All they do is get drunk and have sex with each other. What's appealing about that?

_Seven Weeks Later…_

She finally smiled. When I got up to leave today I looked at her, and found that she was looking right back at me. The only thing I could think to do was smile, so I did, and she smiled right back. I'm sure she was only doing it to be polite. I don't really care though, because her smile could cure cancer. It's like all of the goodness in her soul shines right through her eyes when she smiles. Aunt Sophie would have loved her.

_The Next Day…_

Her name is Sookie, and I do hope I'm spelling that right. She sounds like what I imagine an angel would. I am almost positive that she likes me too. It all went down because I saw her running through the quad, obviously late, and she couldn't get to the soda machine to get her Sunkist. I got it for her, and when I got to the library I set it on the table in front of the seat next to mine. She took the invitation, thanked me, introduced herself, and then studied next to me until I left.

Frankly, I have no idea where my confidence came from, though I still remained quite introverted, considering. I asked if I would see her tomorrow, and she nodded, so I shall see. I think I may have made my first friend.

_A Few Weeks Later…_

I attacked her. There's no other way to describe it. My hands are still shaking. Everything was fine, we were sitting there, studying, and she got up to get a book, and it was like I was possessed or something. I followed her, and kissed her. I actually had her pinned against the shelves, and I'm pretty sure I felt her up. She probably thinks I'm some sort of sexual deviant. If only she knew just how much I'm not. She was only my second kiss.

Christ, what does that even matter? She probably never wants to see me again. I may have just ended the only friendship I have. And what if she's already got a boyfriend? She kissed me back, but it's still possible. It's not like I was giving her much of a choice. A girl that beautiful must have a boyfriend. I suppose I can take comfort in the fact that if she does have one, he's a shitty one. She spends every evening at the library. If she was my girlfriend I would be spending every moment I could with her. She could be the girl I've been waiting for.

I think if she shows up tomorrow, I'll ask her on a date. There's a great chance I'll chicken out, but I will try not to. Something tells me she's worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Another short entry for you. Hope you like it!

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_After walking Sookie home…_

I nearly chickened out. Honestly, the relief I felt when I saw that she was actually at the library, and sitting at my table, was so great that I couldn't even bring myself to ask if I could walk her home until it was almost time for me to leave. I can hardly believe she agreed to it, but she did, and I found out that she lives in the apartment building next to me.

The girl I like has been living next to me for months and I didn't have a clue. How messed up is that? Best thing is that she lives with a roommate, not a boyfriend. She also seemed interested in whether or not I have a girlfriend.

All of this pales in comparison to what she did when I tried to apologize for attacking her. She kissed me. I was mid-sentence, and she grabbed me and kissed me forcefully. It was amazing. We've kissed twice now, so does this mean we're together? Are we just dating? What are the rules of dating anyway? Am I just some guy she wants to kiss, or would she see me as just a fling? Does she even want a serious relationship?

Damn. Is this what I have in store for me through the world of dating? Headache after headache of trying to figure this stuff out? I knew college would be different, but I had forgotten about the change in women's attitudes.

High school girls all seemed to want that high school sweetheart thing, where they'd be with their boyfriend forever. College girls on the whole seem different. They're more about living it up and dating, being non-exclusive. What if Sookie wants that?

Then there's the matter of my virginity. Is that something you tell a girl on the first date? I would assume that if I just outright told her she would think I'm only interested in her for sex, and I don't want her to think that.

Why does this have to be so complicated?

_The next day… _

I'm so confused. I feel like I should be freaking out, but at the same time I'm happy. When I got to the library today, there was a fire truck and everyone was outside. Sookie found me and said that there was a prank involving smoke bombs, so we made plans to start studying together at my place. I'll avoid reiterating the part where I rambled about wanting to have sex with her, to her. I obviously need more of a brain filter.

Everything was great. We studied, and she stayed for dinner. Then while she ate she made these … moaning noises. I attacked her as soon as she put her plate down. I feel like a hormonal fourteen year old. At least I wasn't as aggressive as I was in the library, but Sookie made up for that.

She pushed me back and straddled me, and then she … well, she sort of … what's it called? Dry humping? Grinding? There's too many terms for this stuff. But she did that, and I almost … you know, exploded. That would have been so embarrassing. I think she was confused when I stopped, and she wanted to leave shortly after.

I felt bad, because I was probably confusing the heck out of her, so I asked if I could walk her home. We made plans to meet at the library every day and walk back to my place together to study. But then she kissed me on the cheek happily before she went inside, so I guess she wasn't that upset about what happened in the apartment.

So I now have regular plans to be in close quarters, alone, with the girl I like, she likes to kiss me, and I still don't know if we're dating.


End file.
